well, pink, buck and i are all feeling much better today - and poor liam was up all night sick. our plans were to head to the "big city" to shop today - and break our spending fast for lent. pink's birthday it tomorrow and liam said for us to go without him.
as i was standing at the mirror this morning i looked at my body and realized that there was something different. i haven't weighed myself in months (the scale helps me with reality because i always imagine myself to be fatter than i really am - or my brain thinks i'm gaining weight and i'm not really) - and i have lost 12 lbs. - i am lower than i any time since having kids. i am in shock.
i have been loathing myself for the past 2 months feeling like a big, fat failure - and i wasn't. i've been doing the work, tracking my food, going to meetings, but still my brain was telling me that i was still the lump of nothing i have been telling myself for the past 30 years.
i know that loosing weight doesn't all of a sudden make me something - and this is always a danger spot for me - as soon as the compliments start coming and people start to notice i'm not invisible anymore i get all panicky and begin padding myself again.
so today we're headed south and celebrating resurrection - somehow my body knew better than my mind that the work i've been doing has been working.
keep coming back...