i have been flat lately. remember when i said that i stood on the edge of the ocean in february and screamed "ha winter, it's february and i'm beach combing! you didn't get me!"?? well it was like winter took that as a challenge and reached out a long arm, scooped me up and said "wanna bet?"
these past few months have been hard. some wonderful bright spots, but they just don't seem to push me forward, i enjoy them and then stall again. stalled. that is exactly how i feel.
my sponsoree K is wonderful. we have really come to have a great friendship, one that i cherish deeply. she is really good at finding silver linings. little comments that help me see things from a different perspective.
in talking last night with my sponsor i had a different perspective fall on me. i told her that even though this season has been difficult, we are being present to the yucky emotions that sickness, death and winter has brought on - i am not eating them or stuffing them, but sitting with them - and (here's the ah-ha) i realized that my program is working. i might be on auto-pilot some of the time, but my food plan, my daily routine and my tools are doing the hard work for me because in the good times i have worked my program. that felt really good. so that's my silver lining for today. what's yours?