12 steppers, please help. i am really struggling with a resentment and have realized that this is an area that i'm weak in - first of all identifying it, then what to do with it? i have dealt with close loved ones before with my resentments, but rarely with friends, especially friends who have no recovery.
this one just won't leave me alone and it involves a woman in our small group who i love, but is difficult. she is open and giving, but it seems the giving has strings, and they are usually financial. i am a naturally generous person. i don't say this in pride, it's really something i don't have to work at - i hold things very lightly, especially money and i can give away just about anything without strings and actual joy because i love that it might bless someone else like i have been blessed.
i keep running into interactions when she chooses to be cheap or nickels and dimes me and it's really starting to grate on me. they live in a financial world we could only dream of. i would willingly give her anything i have and when in community i always give my best. we don't skimp on the food we bring and actually go out of our way to be extravagant. we know this is a world of abundance and want to bless those we commune with - i am just finding it so hard to not let this build up in a way that makes a wall. i want to model abundance and not scarcity, but her scarcity mindset is wearing me down.
help. please. i have prayed. i have given generously hoping to set an example, i have asked god to take away the resentment and find release until the next interaction. i am afraid because i am beginning to want to be petty. i want to gossip and slander her - i want to show myself to be honorable and her to be stingy.
i am really struggling to do this the right way - but i don't know how to verbalize this to her without doing damage to the relationship. wisdom is needed - i'm not afraid to talk with her - i just want more light than heat - and i don't know that it's my place to talk with her - 12 steppers - please weigh in on this, i so don't want it to destroy the community we have. thank you!