365

i celebrate an anniversary today. 365 days - one year - 3 meals a day, 0 snacks, 1 day at a time. writing every night in my journal - for 365 days i have done it. this past year has been the most rich and rewarding time i have ever experienced in my 43 years on this planet.

something deep inside me has shifted. it is truly beautiful.

back in october i celebrated 9 years without chocolate, sexual addiction and evening readings. this past year has been more powerful than the previous 8 combined - but together they have changed everything.

the promises are coming/have come true in so many ways.

i have found myself, and i really, truly like who i am today.

10 sizes, lots of weight - i am as compulsive about weighing myself and being tempted to diet as i am compulsive about over eating, so that is a part of life i abstain from too, i have no idea how much weight i have lost, but usually 10 lbs. is a size for me, so it could be as much as 100 lbs. i have no idea. the temptation to weigh has been there far too often, but i know deep in my heart that the number will drill it's way into my little brain and torture me. i track my weight by the way my clothes fit. it's working for me, so i think i'll keep doing it.

for once in my life i truly feel comfortable in my own skin. i am happier with my body and myself today than i was in high school or college. i literally can't remember the last time i had a 34" waist. 7th grade? i really don't know. and the best thing about it is that the weight is a side effect of what is happening deep inside of me. it is not the goal, it is just a happy coincidence. my physical, spiritual and emotional life truly gives me such joy.

it's not perfect by any stretch, and i have not arrived, but i am thrilled with today and will awaken tomorrow to keep taking it one day at a time. thanks for journeying with me, i know that my blogging has been affected by my journaling. but i have gotten in touch with my voice in a very different way.

yay me. i am so proud of myself. i shared this with my group tonight and it says so beautifully a lot of what this year has encompassed for me. i was so surprised to find it in the psalms. it has recovery written all over it:

Psalm 18:20-24
GOD made my life complete
when I placed all the pieces before him.
When I got my act together,
he gave me a fresh start.
Now I'm alert to GOD's ways;
I don't take God for granted.
Every day I review the ways he works;
I try not to miss a trick.
I feel put back together,
and I'm watching my step.
GOD rewrote the text of my life
when I opened the book of my heart to his eyes.