Thursday, December 07, 2006

healing metaphors

i wrote yesterday about sponges and mirrors and used them to identify a problem. this morning i awoke to a comment from erin on that post that said this:
This thought just occurred to me, and perhaps it is really off-base, but... a sponge can only absorb more when it is not already full. I'm wondering if in practicing being fully present, one can be more "full", not have the same capacity to absorb from other sources?
that's it. the key. the metaphors don't only identify the problem, they also help with the healing here. sponges and mirrors.

soak in the good, be full and whole within myself and the need to absorb others emotions co-dependently won't be so easy for me to do.

reading that helped me unlock the mirror too. using the mirror metaphor can help me to reflect my loved ones emotions back to them instead of absorbing them myself. hearing their pain, allow them to feel their emotions, and reflect what i am hearing and seeing back to them instead of absorbing them myself.

THANK YOU ERIN!! these are big keys to those big doors!

kristen also mentioned ritual. as a borderline o/c/d i find great healing in ritual. so much of my healing has come in this form. i am also beginning to ponder what this one will look like.

thank you for your feedback friends, for reading my words and interacting with them. this journey is richer with you along side!

5 comments:

blair said...

as an HSP (highly sensitive person) that sponge metaphor ring SO true for me. Thank you for being candid (and so descriptive) about that little scene with pink. It made me reflect on my own spongelike behavior (obsorbing others negative emotions) that sometimes leaves me nonfunctional. The difference is that mine don't get squeezed back out or reflected on anyone due to my obsession with harmony. Instead I kick into solve mode (solve everyones problems) which does not necessarily exhibit healthy boundries. This is something that I am recently learning and was a BIG trait handed down by my mother (just fix things or pretend it is all alright).

Thank you so much for sharing your journey(ies). You may not know how much pastoring you do through it but your words continue to give insight and hope.

bobbie said...

what a wonderful thing to say blair. thank you. you made my day!

Erin said...

I agree with blair... you have no idea how much pastoring you do!!!

Anonymous said...

This was very cool. Being present is so hard yet the only answer.

I thank God for your openess because I am always learning from it too.
~Hope

Anonymous said...

Walking on my journey and found this post. My Mom did the same thing. Push the problem under the carpet and it will go away. But, she was everyone's empathath. I think people that were born with the "people" skill or like people can tend to "absorb". It's almost an uncontrolled thing. I recently have been just trying to watch myself kind of outside my body. I think what happens is, we are all born with gifts. And sometimes, your strengths can be your weaknesses. It needs boundries and filters or the ability to turn it on/off. Like most gifts (and gifted people are a good example of this) I think we all tend to want to go a little ocd on it. And if you combine that with a parent who shoved things under the carpet, you learn you didn't have the skill to turn it off sometimes. Not faulting anyone here. I never saw my mother emit anger. She's a gem and one of the most diplomatic people....but one the flip side my father an alcohlic...so...we (me) were not allowed to complain. Lot of thoughts in this as I type but, back to the sponge...It's like a newly found gift and I feel like, since I was the only child who ventured into marketing and they all were into sciences: chemistry, MD or engineer....I of course feel like the odd ball...so see things from a different filter. Well, it is good to find this blog. The sponge is a gift...it allows you to be permeable...but...like anything it needs to be controlled some what and who you decide to be around. That's why it's important to be somewhat picky I think about who you choose as friends. Family is a tough one sometimes. My sister doesn't seem to have this sponge thing being an MD and we butt heads all the time. There's an obtuseness that seems to exist...I'm sure on her end too. Absorbtion...I think learning to let go quickly of things, not take them personal and realize if we do the work then God will take care of the rest (keep reciting that phrase daily) your journey will be more happy :-). God Bless everyone. Life is a journey.