12 ton telephone

one of the things i have found in common with many in recovery is how dang heavy that telephone can be. i used to work on a switchboard and have done customer service in many of my jobs along the way - so it's not the telephone per se, but something about picking up the phone to actually dial it and reach out for help. most of the time it looks about as appealing to me as a nautilus machine, and about as much work.

i know that it is one of the 12 tools of recovery, and once i'm actually on the phone i love it (ask hope about our 90 minute phone calls...), but i have a real block when it comes to phoning for help. i think that is why the internet is such a godsend for me. no, it's not as instantaneous to send an email, or post a blog, but there is something about the "HELP" i can send out via the www that is different.

i'm suspecting that it has more to do with asking for help and admitting weakness in a 'real time' relationship than it really has anything to do with the telephone, it just gets blamed for my phobia, like the leaves get the blame that belongs to the roots...

sigh. the reason that i'm bringing this up is that i've had two amazing phone calls with total strangers who had the courage to pick up the phone and dial a number to a person they don't know. you see, my name and number are at the bottom of the posters and ads we've circulated through our community. and two brave souls have taken the difficult step of reaching out today. they have encouraged me with their bravery. i know what it's like to show up cold at a meeting, not knowing a soul. and i've even made a few of those phone calls myself. i've just not been on the receiving end of them before, and they are gifts. shots in the arm that i needed today.

so if you've been putting off a phone call can i encourage you that the other person on the other end of that line just might need to hear that you need something they have today? just for today.