Monday, February 20, 2006

i can't even take one step

two women's prayers have touched me within the past day and i need to mark them here:

Where is that place I can rest
Lay down the things that weigh so heavy
I know you say you are that place
Help me believe you Lord

Please come to me, I can't even take one step
I need a place to fall, and find some peace again

Sometimes my mind goes down these roads
Places I am not meant to travel
Soon I'm a prisoner of fear
Who will come to my rescue (chorus)

I find these vacancies within
Making me feel so small and hollow
But if you touch me I will heal
And redemption will follow (chorus)

Some Peace Again, Gina Praino

O Most Powerful One,
O Indwelling One,
I have no words to bring you into my heart;
for already you have emptied yourself into my life.

You came uninvited.
You are here.
But I am afraid to reach out and touch you.
I am afraid of falling in love.

Don't you see that if I fall in love
I have have to surrender to your embrace.
I will have to let you love me as I am,
with all my imperfections.

I will have to give you my will.
O God, I love my own will!
I am not ready to give it up.

I stand at this east window each morning yearning for you.
I yearn for you just as the sun yearns to rise.

My soul too, has sunrises,
but they aren't seen by the world yet.
I keep my rising inside.

In spite of my struggle to keep it inside,
I almost burst with you God, each day.

What would the world think if I rose?
If I rose, I could never be my shallow, surface self anymore.
If I rose, some people would not like my colors,
and so I keep this lovely color inside.

I am afraid to rise.

O Beloved-One,
I am dying of yearning to rise.
I am dying to come home to myself.
It is the same as coming home to you.

O All-Seeing-One,
can you see that this yearning is pure prayer?
Can you see that my yearning is a golden sunrise?

Macrina Wiederkehr

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