Thursday, February 01, 2007

is it any wonder i'm so co-dependent?

Enneagramfree enneagram test

i did those personality tests the other day and was probably the most honest i've ever been on them - answering real answers instead of what i thought i should, or wanted to be. yuck. i don't want to be a 2! i'm putting this here so that i'll have it as a reminder...

Profile Summary for Enneagram Type Two

Healthy Levels

Level 1 (At Their Best): Become deeply unselfish, humble, and altruistic: giving unconditional love to self and others. Feel it is a privilege to be in the lives of others.

Level 2: Empathetic, compassionate, feeling for others. Caring and concerned about their needs. Thoughtful, warm-hearted, forgiving and sincere.

Level 3: Encouraging and appreciative, able to see the good in others. Service is important, but takes care of self too: they are nurturing, generous, and giving—a truly loving person.

Average Levels

Level 4: Want to be closer to others, so start "people pleasing," becoming overly friendly, emotionally demonstrative, and full of "good intentions" about everything. Give seductive attention: approval, "strokes," flattery. Love is their supreme value, and they talk about it constantly.

Level 5: Become overly intimate and intrusive: they need to be needed, so they hover, meddle, and control in the name of love. Want others to depend on them: give, but expect a return: send double messages. Enveloping and possessive: the codependent, self-sacrificial person who cannot do enough for others—wearing themselves out for everyone, creating needs for themselves to fulfill.

Level 6: Increasingly self-important and self-satisfied, feel they are indispensable, although they overrate their efforts in others' behalf. Hypochondria, becoming a "martyr" for others. Overbearing, patronizing, presumptuous.

Unhealthy Levels

Level 7: Can be manipulative and self-serving, instilling guilt by telling others how much they owe them and make them suffer. Abuse food and medication to "stuff feelings" and get sympathy. Undermine people, making belittling, disparaging remarks. Extremely self-deceptive about their motives and how aggressive and/or selfish their behavior is.

Level 8: Domineering and coercive: feel entitled to get anything they want from others: the repayment of old debts, money, sexual favors.

Level 9: Able to excuse and rationalize what they do since they feel abused and victimized by others and are bitterly resentful and angry. Somatization of their aggressions result in chronic health problems as they vindicate themselves by "falling apart" and burdening others. Generally corresponds to the Histrionic Personality Disorder and Factitious Disorder.

Key Motivations: Want to be loved, to express their feelings for others, to be needed and appreciated, to get others to respond to them, to vindicate their claims about themselves.


anj said...

It was in our community in Australia where I was first introduced to the Enneagram. A friend there used to tell me 1)The one you react strongest against could very possibly be the one you are and 2)Don't just trust the tests. Sit with the information and see which one fits best. It took me five years to 'own' which one I am. I needed to see the subtypes, or head, heart or gut to be able to know for sure. I am a gut person. That is where I move from. The Enneagram is a great tool, I have been wondering though, what it would be like to move beyond the labels?

erica said...

i love the enneagram, bobbie, really I do. But there is a lot of play between the numbers. what you are like under stress may look like a 2, or 4, but healthy you may be an 8 or 9. I think i have been a two under stress, but that I am a 4 right now... now that I write this all out, i am wondering why I liked the tests so much.