Wednesday, March 26, 2008

big shoulders, heavy load

before liam left town he left a note for his dad's doctor (because time lines didn't allow for a face to face meeting) talking about getting his dad's wishes documented (living will) so that the family left in town wouldn't have to guess at his wishes if he becomes unable to express himself and is still living but unconscious. liam saw what i went through with my mother during her death and wouldn't wish that on anyone.

some idiotic nurse read the note, left in his father's file for the doctor, to his step-mom and she went ballistic. i have probably mentioned it here before, but she's not the most emotionally/psychologically healthy person on a good day. she lost it. that coupled with the fact that liam's dad asked her, just that morning, if she would mind if his first wife (liam's mom) could be allowed to come in and say goodbye (one of the healthiest things that could give the man some peace would be to deal with this deep wound left on this family from a nasty divorce and he never took any responsibility for before).

all of this was blasted at liam through his cell phone as he was chairing the meeting of the local mental health board meeting yesterday... (the irony of this isn't lost on us...)

ugh.

she's accusing him of wanting power of attorney and trying to leave her out and every ugly accusation she can throw at him. he had spoken before he left to his brother, and her son, his step-brother, and they all three thought this would be a good idea that would help her, not hurt her. she doesn't see it that way.

if i can encourage anyone, please express to your families your wishes, even get them on paper, it empowers you and helps your family to know at a time that things aren't stressful and difficult how you'd like your life to end. dying well is something our generation could actually do if we spent the time now thinking and talking about it with ourselves and those we love.

i know liam has big shoulders, but the emotional toll of all of this is weighing on him. any prayers would really be appreciated. we want more light and more life for all involved - not pain, confusion and struggle. please god recenter all of this to the truth.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Poor guy. I will definitely say one for him (and you).

Mich

Amy A. said...

I will pray for you guys this week.

wilsonian said...

Praying...
Over Liam's step-mother, praying perfect Love...

Lorna said...

ouch!

that said better not to answer the phone in such a meeting it seems to me :(