Thursday, April 05, 2012

day 38 - moving on

life has gotten really busy this week leading into easter, too busy, busier than it's been in quite some time.

not happy about that, but it's good things.

still feel pressured and rushed and that is unfamiliar for me lately.

had so many expectations on these next four days, the busy has definitely helped me to set them down.

can't believe that i have blogged my way through lent, it hasn't been easy.  blogging is much less rewarding than it used to be.

but i am happy that i have stuck to it and it has been important for me.

those clues might have still revealed themselves to me, but documenting the search was far more satisfying than just allowing it to all happen without taking witness of it.

for it all i am grateful, even the very difficult parts.

i am looking forward to getting to the other side of easter though, feels like i'll be able to exhale and not put so much pressure on everything, myself included.

most of all i am thankful that winter is showing it's backside.  i will not be sad to see it go.

i am moving into spring with a new perspective.  some things have died this winter that i am sure needed to die.  burying them and saying goodbye is important and right.  i have grieved well and hard and know that there might be another season of grief, but this one seems to be easing.

in less than an hour it will be 24 years since my mother died.  i can look back on that grief and know that the pain lessens over time, and even though there are times of sentiment and sorrow that things well grieved can even give us life.

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