Friday, April 06, 2012

day 39 - good friday

put together a contemplative service with a friend tonight.  it went well and was just what i needed.  it was really beautiful and unpadded.  we left a lot of silence and space for god to show up.  it wasn't monumental for me, but i had little expectation as i was concerned about how the details were coming together at times.  but there were times i was able to sit and just be.

there was a station for letting go and as i sat with my thoughts i thought that i was letting THEM go, and in the middle of my thoughts i found i was distracted and when i came back to them i realized that what i really needed to let go of had nothing to do with them, but to do with my need for people like THEM, my constant need for external affirmation and validation.

i know that something shifted in me.

that returned things to their proper perspective.  outside of me i have no control, accept the things that i can change.  was granted wisdom tonight to know the difference and for that i am truly grateful.


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