put together a contemplative service with a friend tonight. it went well and was just what i needed. it was really beautiful and unpadded. we left a lot of silence and space for god to show up. it wasn't monumental for me, but i had little expectation as i was concerned about how the details were coming together at times. but there were times i was able to sit and just be.
there was a station for letting go and as i sat with my thoughts i thought that i was letting THEM go, and in the middle of my thoughts i found i was distracted and when i came back to them i realized that what i really needed to let go of had nothing to do with them, but to do with my need for people like THEM, my constant need for external affirmation and validation.
i know that something shifted in me.
that returned things to their proper perspective. outside of me i have no control, accept the things that i can change. was granted wisdom tonight to know the difference and for that i am truly grateful.