about me

life has grown past my 'about me' portion of my blog. i am no longer 'trapped' in/by the church. it feels wonderful. so this morning i took some time to write out my new 'bio'. it's still vague, and i'm still anonymous, but i realized that it's still working for me.

i'm working on a different idea to own my name/voice/face in the blogosphere, will keep you posted if/when that comes together.

so here is my new 'about me', i'm blogging my old one here too so i can see how far i've come:

new:

this is an anonymous blog. it started that way because of necessity. i felt trapped by the church into silence as an opinionated woman. we're now in transition, what will be next? we don't know yet. now this blog is anonymous by choice. i'm still learning to own my voice. many of you know who i am. i am not hiding anymore, but i am still trying to tune the instrument that is my voice. sometimes it seems like there is only an 'on' and an 'off' switch. kind of like a fire hose. that's what happens when silence is enforced on those who need to speak. so, please bear with me. i'm finding my voice, i'm learning to own those controversial things about myself in public. it's taking a lot of courage and practice. i know they will both come when the time is right.

old:

this is an anonymous blog to vent, grow, challenge myself and find my voice. i am a woman in a man's church and saying some of the things i need to say may have more consequenses than i want to deal with right now, so this is my alternative, an anoymous blog. you can call me bobbie.

who is bobbie? bobbie was my mom, she was a woman in a man's church too. she never found her voice. maybe this blog will help both of us recover what was lost to us, what we wanted to say, were told we couldn't say and heal the rift that was created between our souls and god.

she was such a strong woman. i hated her for that. the church told me women were supposed to be meek, mild and silent. she managed that at church, but at home she failed miserably. i thought her a hypocrite, and i resented her and her inability to be "submissive". how little i understood then and how i'd love the chance to tell her 'i get it now.