Saturday, April 15, 2006

no maundy

liam and i have been struggling with this lenten/easter season. for so many years this season is a time of desperation, grieving and sadness. our church of origin LOVED to dwell on jesus' death. almost to the point of bloody obsession. (and i mean that in the real red blood, not the english swear word here). the loss of focus on either jesus' life or even his resurrection caused such imbalance and distortion. it is our suspicion that much of the mental illness and depression so many of our loved ones dealt with was caused by this morbid theology.

please don't get me wrong. i feel that jesus' death was a necessity and the ultimate act of love - but to forget his life, his words (the sermon on the mount especially) and the joy of the resurrection to focus continually on the death is just sick and wrong.

so this year we both felt horribly guilty for not feeling sad and maudlin. almost to the point of being tempted to engineer it to feel more spiritual or connected to the church as a whole. it's just not there. so yesterday instead of feeling sad and blue we beach combed and flew kites together - we celebrated instead of feeling guilty or forcing ourselves to be sad. i think god understands.

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