today i meet with my pastor. it was supposed to be yesterday, but my daughter and i couldn't find anywhere for her to go. so we had an amazing time together instead.
i just want to get my head together for today, so i'm blogging it here.
this past year god has confirmed that there is a call specifically on my life, not to serve my husband, or his call, but something distinct and separate.
i had assumed by default, i guess that i was just supposed to serve 'along side' liam and whatever church he was at. this past year or two of being apart from ministry has made that clear for me that there is something more.
i also know, for myself, and assume for liam, that this past year has been a transformation of that call. i am not called to serve the church, but the poor. it has been painful to learn. the church can be glamorous, and teen agers are way more fun.
really god, the poor? yes.
so today i am talking to P (it's easier to give them some kind of 'name') about serving the poor in our community.
in the past 18 months over 12 families have been relocated to our community here, all have been in some ministry of sorts and are highly skilled and passionate. for a small town and church that makes it clear that god is doing something. we've all be talking about what it could be. in my discussions i had narrowed it down to two distinct things. a soup kitchen and a youth center.
i would have been willing to put my energies behind either, as i feel passionately about both. but within the past 2 months the confirmation for me has constantly been steering me toward the soup kitchen (man do we need a better name for this - any suggestions?)
this flows into the vision that i gave to tony campolo years ago and i am wondering if these could be the seeds of that. i am fine if it is not and know that feeding the families in our community is more than enough. but i am convinced that if done well duplication can be done so that other communities can follow in our steps with a firm plan instead of having to reinvent the wheel each time.
i spoke with erin (she is as incredible in person as on her blog!) a lot regarding my fear of committing to something so HUGE, having so many depend on me. she reminded me that my role in this could be just a slice of what is required to put this together. that helps me a lot.
i just know that the poverty, generational poverty in our community must be broken. it must be addressed. the need here is so great. i am hoping that the church will stand with me in beginning to navigate funding, political assistance and programs and stepping into our christian community as a whole and finding like minded people on both sides of the border to begin to join together to care for those who need these most basic of services.
our church already does incredible work for the poor here. i believe that this will go hand and glove with the passion they have for our community already.
i just wish i wasn't so freaked out about this meeting. i think it has more to do with past history than present reality. i know i'll feel much better when it's over. or maybe i'll be incredibly overwhelmed then too... :P
i just know that i'm supposed to be obedient, to walk this to the next level, whatever that may be. i would really appreciate your prayers.