home and exhausted

hi all, don't know how many know as i blogged mostly on my named blog and updated on facebook, (and i can't remember what i wrote here and am to lazy to look) but my son buck is now juvenile diabetic and has a team of incredible doctors/nutritionist/nurse working on his case.

we're home, safe and prepared, but the mental energy it takes to not forget anything is exhausting and i haven't gotten the needed sleep to face even a normal day, let alone this kind of day. i have been writing every day for the past two weeks and my food/abstinence is still good. i'm only eating at meals and have made it through the worst of this storm i think.

hope told me the other day that she could see my recovery was solid because of the way i was able to face this. that meant the world to me. i told her that i have avoided counting and measuring my whole recovery life, so it makes me smile to think i get to do it now out of love for my son instead of out of obligation or legalism for myself. i am learning much.

other than the exhaustion and i fell flat on my butt walking to the house yesterday just was we got home everything is going well. liam is a bit more stressed than normal, but i can't work his program for him, so he'll have to find a way through this all himself. thanks for your prayers - please don't stop. and if you could add pink into the mix we'd appreciate it. she's the only one who really doesn't have anything to "do" for this, so she's feeling a bit left out, some survivor guilt and just the plain old emotions of an 11 year old girl. she's the emotional barometer of our home - and lets us know when we need to be communicating better and spending more time together doing less and being present more.

anyway - i don't even know if this is making any sense, but after lunch i think i'm going to do some good self care and take a nap. much love!