Thursday, January 20, 2005

well that explains a lot!

in the middle of my preparations for my tea yesterday i received a phone call from my dr's office. i had just had my yearly physical and she ran some standard blood tests, i really had no complaints, and didn't expect anything. (note: this is unusual for me, i spent much of my life trying to invent physical excuses for my depression and because physical illness was a badge of honor in my family of origin. i bordered on hypochondria, and my suicidal bent would bring one step closer to death if i really had some dreaded horrible disease...)

anyway - my dr. called to inform me that i had a low thyroid result and she wants me to do some more blood work to confirm hypothyroidism. i have since done some research and find that much of my weird struggles lately (freezing hands and feet, foggy memory, inability to shake a chill and a host of others) are side effects of hypothyroidism. who'da thunk it?!?! it's not a difficult fix, and i hear that when levels are back to normal i will feel like a new woman - how exciting!

the coolest part of this is that i've learned to live well and accommodate a much slower lifestyle because of it and honor who i've become within this context, and i like it a lot. i think if i hadn't had this time (since my son was born is when i can trace these symptoms back now - 6 years) to slow myself down. i don't think i would have ever found out so much about myself and my relationship with god. i think i would have kept up that break neck pace the church runs at and missed out on so much.

i don't know that much will change, other than having a much clearer head and not having to hibernate from the cold, now that i've found this simpler lifestyle. i also don't think i would have 'been still and known that god is god' either. i'm looking at this as a gift, instead of a problem. it definitely explains an awful lot!

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