Wednesday, March 29, 2006

sophia - wisdom within

this is the second art piece i completed for lent. it's rendered in charcoal and based on (copied...) a piece by one of my favorite artists doris klein. the first time i saw the piece it made me gasp. most of her art does that to me. it touches a virginal place in my soul that little else has.

the parts of god the church destroys, denies and shames away are depicted by her with such beauty and emotion. doris klein's art touches the places in me that are awakening. a place that freaks me out, terrifies me and i must admit makes me feel like a pagan in my most honest moments. but then i remember tony campolo speaking of the feminine parts of god that most of the church denies and am comforted by his 'permission'. should i need that permission, no, but somehow it makes me feel safer. less on the edge of witchcraft, and more in the place of understanding the pieces of god that i have been denied so long.

i am coming to understand that much of my struggle (and that of many of my sisters) stems from that denial. this solely MALE god is a distortion and it has damaged and is damaging our ability to worship, and i don't just mean the female part of creation either - but creation as a whole.

i know that my healing and becoming real will take me to this place of a WHOLE god. understanding the feminine of the image i bear will allow me to realize in my own body and soul the places that have shamed me for so long. the temptation to delete this and avoid blogging about it is great. but i have realized that being labeled a heretic, avoided or shunned can't matter any more. i need to navigate this here if i am ever to find the healing and the life i long for.

this art piece was my first attempt to get in touch with this emotion and these questions. to express and allow myself permission to dip my toes into the water and worship this part of god i hardly know myself. i don't know about the morals of imitating someone else's art. it's not for sale or profit. i just knew that i was unable to create (yet) that place of birth or unique ideas from within myself on this subject. i hope it is seen as the most sincere form of flattery.

the metaphor of the shell and it's spiralling wholeness speaks to me of wisdom and knowing and deep elemental truth. it expanded sophia to me in such a rich and textured way. as i shaded and highlighted i understood a little more of the inmost places sophia resides. that time, silence and being fully present are the only ways to find those concealed, spiralling places. it is an offering of worship to the part of god i've yet to fully understand, but long to engender, to honor and know.


natala said...

thank you.... this is so beautiful

bobbie said...

thank you natala!! i really enjoyed creating and writing about it.