Saturday, May 06, 2006

garden story

well, i'm off to tell my first story. i haven't been able to blog about it, i don't know why, but i guess i had to work all of this out on my own.

i'm nervous, excited, emotional and more stressed than i should be. these people love me, invited me and i really want show up, be present and be past it somehow.

i think i'm in need of a change - i can feel my serenity flying above my head like a gull. warning me that if i don't make some changes i'm in for a relapse or depression, or both.

it's not white knuckle or desperate - i just feel like i've been insulating myself from reality lately. liam's hospital visit, the new community and culture we're experiencing here, and all of the many changes, both good and bad. they have created stressors that i am carrying in my body instead of dealing with head on. the closest OA group is 90 minutes away. there are AA groups and ALANON here, so i might be making some phone calls this week to ask if they would mind me attending.

my future counselor is my landlord at present. they don't arrive here until the end of june. i am so looking forward to getting to know her and her husband and living a life examined again. i just have to make it through the next couple of months without throwing it all away. i would appreciate your prayers. now i'm going to stop because i've already done my makeup and i can feel my eyes getting a bit teary. thanks for listening.

UPDATE: it went so well - what fun! i'll blog about it tomorrow. thanks for your prayers!

2 comments:

Candy said...

I know you'll do a great job, after all you're a storyteller and you have a story to tell. What more do you need? Tell it, girl.

Heather said...

I hope we're going to get to hear this story too?

Heather