the unexamined life

i realized a couple of weeks ago that the unexamined life just isn't nearly as interesting as the intentional one. i have found a counselor and see him this morning. it's been over 20 years now that i've been 'in counselling' most recently i've had female counselors. i'm looking forward to a new perspective.

i find that they help pick at the loose threads in this tapestry of my life. find the areas that are covering over wounds or confusion and unravel the knots to find out what really lies underneath. no big crisis - just a deep desire to go deeper.

i originally decided against seeing him because he was so very different than anyone i've seen before. his life experience and perspective are worlds apart than where i've come from - he's so calm, peaceful and methodical - i think i feared i'd freak him out with my stuff. i can be overwhelming at times... then i realized that i wanted some of what he had. he is a man of peace, passionate about justice, compassionate about helping the poor and the hurting. i figured out that many times i am the 'poor and the hurting'. if i could sense that in the few months we've been here i knew that i could trust him to have compassion toward me and my story.

so an appointment made weeks ago seems very well timed in the middle of this family visit. i look forward to pulling at the threads today.