Thursday, September 14, 2006
republishing nightmare
okay, your rss reader might be a bit full for me in the near future as i give labels for back posts. sorry...
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
big changes on blogger beta
i've made the big switch to the blogger beta and have played/argued with it all day. many things i really like - there are some other things i am not impressed with, but i know they'll work out the kinks soon.
if you take a look at my sidebar you will see the fruits of my labors. one of the frustrations i have had with blogger (actually all blogs in general) was that the meaningful posts that explain things get lost in the archieves. unless someone is intentionally searching for old posts and history new readers loose much of the story. also i know that there are some posts that i really have liked and would love for new readers feedback on them.
i have started with three sections, one on my history, why i'm anonymous, and some blog posts i really like. another is on my struggle with sexual addiction. it was the reason i started blogging - and i think there are far too many fellow strugglers out 'there' who feel alone, especially women. please know, YOU ARE NOT ALONE! the third is a series i wrote about the serenity prayer. i want to re-read it myself, so i made sure to put it in sequence so that i (and others) could read it too.
another new feature of blogger beta that i LOVE and have been begging for is labels. this will really allow people to find posts about subjects they are interested in. it will take a long time to get the back posts done, but i am committed to getting this up to form as soon as possible.
a HUGE frustration i have is the new archieving system. old years are just stacked on top of each other - months are not tabbed anymore and it's really frustrating that you have to search through the whole year to find an old post. PLEASE FIX THIS BLOGGER PEOPLE!! we want to have past years tabbed by month.
i also have had difficulty putting haloscan comments back into my template - hopefully this can be corrected as so many of you have blessed me by contributing to my blog with your words of encouragement and community.
if you take a look at my sidebar you will see the fruits of my labors. one of the frustrations i have had with blogger (actually all blogs in general) was that the meaningful posts that explain things get lost in the archieves. unless someone is intentionally searching for old posts and history new readers loose much of the story. also i know that there are some posts that i really have liked and would love for new readers feedback on them.
i have started with three sections, one on my history, why i'm anonymous, and some blog posts i really like. another is on my struggle with sexual addiction. it was the reason i started blogging - and i think there are far too many fellow strugglers out 'there' who feel alone, especially women. please know, YOU ARE NOT ALONE! the third is a series i wrote about the serenity prayer. i want to re-read it myself, so i made sure to put it in sequence so that i (and others) could read it too.
another new feature of blogger beta that i LOVE and have been begging for is labels. this will really allow people to find posts about subjects they are interested in. it will take a long time to get the back posts done, but i am committed to getting this up to form as soon as possible.
a HUGE frustration i have is the new archieving system. old years are just stacked on top of each other - months are not tabbed anymore and it's really frustrating that you have to search through the whole year to find an old post. PLEASE FIX THIS BLOGGER PEOPLE!! we want to have past years tabbed by month.
i also have had difficulty putting haloscan comments back into my template - hopefully this can be corrected as so many of you have blessed me by contributing to my blog with your words of encouragement and community.
advice to a first year teacher
amy at amy loves books has an incredible post for first year teachers.
a must read, especially if you are a teacher.
advice to a first year teacher
a must read, especially if you are a teacher.
advice to a first year teacher
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
my favorite catalog came today!
i just love this company and catalog! it's funny, irreverant and filled with all things womanly!some of the quotes and products make me laugh out loud!
a tea towel with:
"It's hard to be optimistic when your "fat" pants are tight!"
a key chain with the words imprinted:
"Oh shit, I've become my mother!"
there is even inspiring art, sculpture like this:
you can find it online here: femail creations
Monday, September 11, 2006
akeela and the bee
watched this video last night with our kids and was so moved.
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
Marianne Williamson in Return to Love: Reflections on a Course in Miracles
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
Marianne Williamson in Return to Love: Reflections on a Course in Miracles
ebible now live!
i've been using the beta for the ebible for months now and i really love it. it's very web 2.0 and thinks like i think. i highly recommend adding this to your study links:
ebible.com
ebible.com
Sunday, September 10, 2006
yah!
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
- Albert Einstein
Friday, September 08, 2006
what does sexism say about god?
oh you know how i love the sister:
Kiko and Couric: Whew, that was close | National Catholic Reporter Conversation Cafe - Sister Joan Chittester:
Kiko and Couric: Whew, that was close | National Catholic Reporter Conversation Cafe - Sister Joan Chittester:
"From where I stand, the answer is clear. It's not only what sexism says about women that's wrong. It's what sexism says about God that is the problem. Sexism says that femaleness is the only thing in creation before which God is powerless. It says that the God who parted the Red Sea, drew water from a rock and raised the dead to life goes impotent before a woman. It says that the only substance on earth that God cannot or will not work through is a female. Poor God."read whole article here.
the singing bowl
hope commented on the family altar post and asked about the bowl in the picture above. it is a 'singing bowl' from nepal. liam brought it back with him when he was there a couple of years ago. it is made to ring like a bell when struck, or can be 'played' by ringing the lip of the bowl with the wooden puja (stick).
it plays different roles on the altar, the first being to remind me that we have much to learn from other cultures about centering and prayer. i think much has been lost to the church in healthy forms of silence and meditation. also, as a woman raised in farmland, white-bread, middle america i constantly want to remind myself that the world is far bigger than my own experience and i have much to learn from other cultures and peoples.
i also use it to break the silence after prayer. i am finding much life in engaging all of my senses in worship and this allows me to hear my prayers in a way i had not experienced before.
another important part of our altar is that all of the elements are represented. sometimes the bowl holds water and floats a blossom. right now it is holding ashes from a guided practice of writing down a fear and burning it. it was during the late winter when jobs were no where to be found and we were feeling the pull of 'what have we done moving here!'. those ashes are the ones used in the utmost desperation felt in the pain of that season and i angrily smeared them on my face, rending my shirt and crying out to god, begging to not be forgotten. they are a reminder that we weren't. (wow that took me back to that time instantly and the depth of emotion is seen trickling down my face even now.)
when the water is not there we have the fish liam drew on the rock while at dawsonwood cottage in the hospitable care of connie's husband rob while we healed from another dry season.
as i stated in the previous post, each item here is a sacred reminder to me of our path, where we came from and where we are headed. so, while a bit cluttered and un-simple it is all so treasured and vital for now.
Thursday, September 07, 2006
pushing against the invisible
a quote i didn't want to loose:
David Byrne Journal: 9.4.06: V for Vendetta, Paradise, Procession:
David Byrne Journal: 9.4.06: V for Vendetta, Paradise, Procession:
"When the Bass brothers financed the first Biosphere, that earth in a bubble out in Arizona, the trees all failed in an interesting way. All the trees in the biosphere were droopy and lacked the strength to stand upright. They grew, but were too weak to stand. They studied the problem and found the answer. No wind. The Biosphere bubble lacked any wind so the trees had nothing to make them sway. It was the swaying, pushing against an invisible yet very palpable force, that gave them the strength to grow upright, stand reaching up to the sky. I met one of the Bass brothers at an American Museum Association show and he took me to a Blues club that he owned in Fort Worth. The band was rocking and he was so down home I forgot all about the Biosphere so I never got to ask if the story was true."
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
alone at last!
today is the first day i have been alone and quiet enough to sit in silence, light a candle and journal my thoughts. it is a good thing.
i hit my threshold yesterday. you know that imaginary mark you place on a calendar or in your mind that says "i can make it until HERE", "if i can just hold out until IT'S over", "only THREE MORE DAYS until they're gone"? i had been holding out 'the first day of school' as that threshold, and none of it was spent alone, in quiet or taking deep breaths. by supper time i was pretty stressed out.
i awoke this morning around 6:00 and laid in bed thinking through some inconsistencies i had been unable to put my finger on. the clarity was beautiful. so much so that i didn't want to loose the thoughts and headed for the computer. i realized on my way though that if i opened up the internet i would get lost (as would my clarity) in the looking glass this computer is for me far too many times.
so i did what i haven't done in months. i picked up a pen, grabbed my fresh, new journal and wrote three pages of thoughts on the ah-ha's i had this morning. oh how i have missed that medium. the horror of missing things (or getting old and not remembering that you are missing things?) is that the imprint it leaves on our lives disappears so very quickly that we forget how important it is.
writing by hand engages different parts of my brain that writing on the computer. it's actually why i still use lower case letters. because i spent so many years typing for the institutions in my life that i become a different person when i must punctuate and capitalize. it engages a part of my brain that is thwarted far too often by my frustrated perfectionist. so lower case slides right by him somehow. (and yes, he is a man, i don't know why - but he is...)
anyway, back to the real purpose of this post. after everyone left i grabbed my guide (the cup of life, joyce rupp, that is taking me FAR TOO LONG to move through) and my own 'cup of life', and the sparker to light my candles on my altar. downsizing here at the flat meant that the table altar we had at our last home didn't fit here and it gave me a lot of frustration trying to find a space where it could nest.
another frustration here at the flat is a monolith of a brick fireplace - when the roof was replaced on the house they didn't fix the chimneys and the three fireplaces are now just monoliths instead of useful, warm additions to our space (the lower apartment has 2, we only have 1). it was uncared for by previous tenants and needed some love. we used stove paint to clean up the interior bricks and then it just looked like a black hole in the room. ideally we would have candelabras and lovely pillar candles to fill it with - they just didn't fit into the budget. so in a brush of impulsiveness i decided to marry the two decorating dilemmas i was having and put the altar in the fireplace. i blogged about my deep desire for a sacred space within my home way back in october 2004.
ta-da.
it's not really what i would have chosen in my 'perfect decorating world' but it works for now. i really want to paint a wrapped canvas with a fire element art piece, but that will have to wait for those cold winter nights. until then this is where i light my candles and pray for you.
as i sat there on my knees i thought how busy it looked and thought that simplifying it might help. then realized how each piece on the altar was significant to me and i thought i'd give you a tour.
this is my inukshuk. i know they are 'supposed' to have legs. i tried and tried to balance the rocks we found (each member of the family or tribe gathers the rocks for the inukshucks and all are important and used). he kept falling over. over and over. to the point where i was going to start over, scatter the rocks and we'd all find new ones on another trip to the shore. then i realized that he wasn't a he, he was a she. she is me. i am here. life is found here. community is found here. sustenance is found here.
this birdcage is a gift from my family. it was one of my most favorite christmas presents. you see i needed a bird for my empty birdcage i posted about here.
and this is getting far to long of a tour and a blog post, so i will leave you with this, pink drew it for me years ago and it's of her and i celebrating together:
i hit my threshold yesterday. you know that imaginary mark you place on a calendar or in your mind that says "i can make it until HERE", "if i can just hold out until IT'S over", "only THREE MORE DAYS until they're gone"? i had been holding out 'the first day of school' as that threshold, and none of it was spent alone, in quiet or taking deep breaths. by supper time i was pretty stressed out.
i awoke this morning around 6:00 and laid in bed thinking through some inconsistencies i had been unable to put my finger on. the clarity was beautiful. so much so that i didn't want to loose the thoughts and headed for the computer. i realized on my way though that if i opened up the internet i would get lost (as would my clarity) in the looking glass this computer is for me far too many times.
so i did what i haven't done in months. i picked up a pen, grabbed my fresh, new journal and wrote three pages of thoughts on the ah-ha's i had this morning. oh how i have missed that medium. the horror of missing things (or getting old and not remembering that you are missing things?) is that the imprint it leaves on our lives disappears so very quickly that we forget how important it is.
writing by hand engages different parts of my brain that writing on the computer. it's actually why i still use lower case letters. because i spent so many years typing for the institutions in my life that i become a different person when i must punctuate and capitalize. it engages a part of my brain that is thwarted far too often by my frustrated perfectionist. so lower case slides right by him somehow. (and yes, he is a man, i don't know why - but he is...)
anyway, back to the real purpose of this post. after everyone left i grabbed my guide (the cup of life, joyce rupp, that is taking me FAR TOO LONG to move through) and my own 'cup of life', and the sparker to light my candles on my altar. downsizing here at the flat meant that the table altar we had at our last home didn't fit here and it gave me a lot of frustration trying to find a space where it could nest.
another frustration here at the flat is a monolith of a brick fireplace - when the roof was replaced on the house they didn't fix the chimneys and the three fireplaces are now just monoliths instead of useful, warm additions to our space (the lower apartment has 2, we only have 1). it was uncared for by previous tenants and needed some love. we used stove paint to clean up the interior bricks and then it just looked like a black hole in the room. ideally we would have candelabras and lovely pillar candles to fill it with - they just didn't fit into the budget. so in a brush of impulsiveness i decided to marry the two decorating dilemmas i was having and put the altar in the fireplace. i blogged about my deep desire for a sacred space within my home way back in october 2004.
ta-da.
it's not really what i would have chosen in my 'perfect decorating world' but it works for now. i really want to paint a wrapped canvas with a fire element art piece, but that will have to wait for those cold winter nights. until then this is where i light my candles and pray for you.as i sat there on my knees i thought how busy it looked and thought that simplifying it might help. then realized how each piece on the altar was significant to me and i thought i'd give you a tour.
this is my inukshuk. i know they are 'supposed' to have legs. i tried and tried to balance the rocks we found (each member of the family or tribe gathers the rocks for the inukshucks and all are important and used). he kept falling over. over and over. to the point where i was going to start over, scatter the rocks and we'd all find new ones on another trip to the shore. then i realized that he wasn't a he, he was a she. she is me. i am here. life is found here. community is found here. sustenance is found here.
this birdcage is a gift from my family. it was one of my most favorite christmas presents. you see i needed a bird for my empty birdcage i posted about here.and this is getting far to long of a tour and a blog post, so i will leave you with this, pink drew it for me years ago and it's of her and i celebrating together:
i knew the www felt warmer today!
wonderful to see your wonderful self and story with us again jen!! welcome back!
for those of you who are new to the blogosphere you are about to be in for a treat. jen is the reason so many of us began blogging years ago. we have missed you dear friend!!
about me - jen lemen
thanks for the update adam!
for those of you who are new to the blogosphere you are about to be in for a treat. jen is the reason so many of us began blogging years ago. we have missed you dear friend!!
about me - jen lemen
thanks for the update adam!
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
some good recovery links
here are some recovery links i didn't want to lose in the tidy:
sex help
xxx church
12 step prayers
recovery promises
overeaters anonymous
restoring the glory
antidote to lust?
pure intimacy
sex help
xxx church
12 step prayers
recovery promises
overeaters anonymous
restoring the glory
antidote to lust?
pure intimacy
if you're bored
i'm tidying up my sidebar and didn't want to loose these links:
orisinal
toothpaste for dinner
movie maker
hypnotizing horses
the mirror project
lego bible
mr. picassohead
cheese racing
despair inc.
mesmorize
industrious clock
imagination at work
world beard and mustache champions
whack a yeti
make a mosaic
orisinal
toothpaste for dinner
movie maker
hypnotizing horses
the mirror project
lego bible
mr. picassohead
cheese racing
despair inc.
mesmorize
industrious clock
imagination at work
world beard and mustache champions
whack a yeti
make a mosaic
Amazon.com: Good Monsters: Music: Jars of Clay
oh i just downloaded this on itunes and it is INCREDIBLE!
Amazon.com: Good Monsters: Music: Jars of Clay
Amazon.com: Good Monsters: Music: Jars of Clay
Monday, September 04, 2006
oh thank heaven
i know that deb writes regularly about her family's ability to confuse and mix up phrases and words. it always makes me laugh when i read them.
liam and are always get a smile over our own fathers mix-ups - they both have the gift of not really nailing things right on the head.
i remember back when pink was a baby, we wanted a little toy cart for her and asked that liam's dad buy it for her for her 1st birthday. we gave him the particulars and told him that he could get it at toys-r-us or one of the big chain stores. so we were quite surprised at the party when she was given a knock-off, made in china car that played 'scotland the brave' when you pushed the horn. THE WHOLE SONG, over and over - and over...
he explained afterward that nobody in our area carried the pisher-fish kids car. he said he went to each store and asked the workers there where the pisher-fish section was and all he got was blank stares. (fisher-price)
last night liam got off the phone with his dad and was chuckling. he said his father was very moved by all of the world trade center remembrances and tributes that have been happening on the television these past couple of days. he said 'i can't believe 7-11 happened 5 years ago'.
anybody want a slurpee?
liam and are always get a smile over our own fathers mix-ups - they both have the gift of not really nailing things right on the head.
i remember back when pink was a baby, we wanted a little toy cart for her and asked that liam's dad buy it for her for her 1st birthday. we gave him the particulars and told him that he could get it at toys-r-us or one of the big chain stores. so we were quite surprised at the party when she was given a knock-off, made in china car that played 'scotland the brave' when you pushed the horn. THE WHOLE SONG, over and over - and over...
he explained afterward that nobody in our area carried the pisher-fish kids car. he said he went to each store and asked the workers there where the pisher-fish section was and all he got was blank stares. (fisher-price)
last night liam got off the phone with his dad and was chuckling. he said his father was very moved by all of the world trade center remembrances and tributes that have been happening on the television these past couple of days. he said 'i can't believe 7-11 happened 5 years ago'.
anybody want a slurpee?
Sunday, September 03, 2006
snap!
|
|
"Mischief is your middle name, but your first is friend. You are quite the prankster that loves to make other people laugh."
via
Saturday, September 02, 2006
brainwaves
| You Are 30% Left Brained, 70% Right Brained |
 The left side of your brain controls verbal ability, attention to detail, and reasoning. Left brained people are good at communication and persuading others. If you're left brained, you are likely good at math and logic. Your left brain prefers dogs, reading, and quiet. The right side of your brain is all about creativity and flexibility. Daring and intuitive, right brained people see the world in their unique way. If you're right brained, you likely have a talent for creative writing and art. Your right brain prefers day dreaming, philosophy, and sports. |
Friday, September 01, 2006
rough night
i feel hungover. like i was hit by a mack truck. pummled.
i guess i didn't take my magnesium properly yesterday, or something else was off because i got one of those 'cold seizures' last night and just could not get warm.
i wish i knew how to stop this from happening. it feels so random, and it's really scary not knowing when it will happen and how to fix it. extra blankets. winter pj's. liam's cuddling so close i can't move. thick socks, even on my hands. i ended up last night with my winter pj's, winter robe, 2 pair of thick socks, and four blankets. it still took an hour to shake it.
my body feels like it was dropped off a cliff this morning. like i'm bruised deep inside. it has been so long since my last episode that i almost forgot how powerless it feels. i'm sure it's a type of hypothermia. buck had a similar reaction this summer after swimming. we just couldn't get him warm. i hope it's not hereditary.
we're supposed to go camping next week at bar harbor with friends. i don't think i can manage it with this looming again. i can't imagine not having the resources of warm clothes and heat on demand at my fingers in case this happens there.
i'm starting to loosen up and stretch, but it feels like someone took a sardine can key to the bottom of my spine and just wound it up tight. my head feels 10 lbs. heavier and i'm so thick and cloudy in my thoughts. oh i don't miss this at all.
since i started the magnesium i haven't even really had a headache. not a good feeling. i thought maybe writing about it would help to clear some of the fog and journal for me a reminder that keeping good tabs on my magnesium is important. hope you have a great day! thanks for listening.
i guess i didn't take my magnesium properly yesterday, or something else was off because i got one of those 'cold seizures' last night and just could not get warm.
i wish i knew how to stop this from happening. it feels so random, and it's really scary not knowing when it will happen and how to fix it. extra blankets. winter pj's. liam's cuddling so close i can't move. thick socks, even on my hands. i ended up last night with my winter pj's, winter robe, 2 pair of thick socks, and four blankets. it still took an hour to shake it.
my body feels like it was dropped off a cliff this morning. like i'm bruised deep inside. it has been so long since my last episode that i almost forgot how powerless it feels. i'm sure it's a type of hypothermia. buck had a similar reaction this summer after swimming. we just couldn't get him warm. i hope it's not hereditary.
we're supposed to go camping next week at bar harbor with friends. i don't think i can manage it with this looming again. i can't imagine not having the resources of warm clothes and heat on demand at my fingers in case this happens there.
i'm starting to loosen up and stretch, but it feels like someone took a sardine can key to the bottom of my spine and just wound it up tight. my head feels 10 lbs. heavier and i'm so thick and cloudy in my thoughts. oh i don't miss this at all.
since i started the magnesium i haven't even really had a headache. not a good feeling. i thought maybe writing about it would help to clear some of the fog and journal for me a reminder that keeping good tabs on my magnesium is important. hope you have a great day! thanks for listening.
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