logjam

i have made two amends today by email - the people involved are too far away to do face to face. i have one more to make today and then a phone call to clear the decks with a friend locally.

i am using the anxiety i'm having about the phone call to spur me on to making the amends i have set aside for months (years for one) and it's working. instead of eating the anxiety i am pouring the energy it gives me into moving foward and working my program.

this past week has been full of massive ah-ha's, answers to prayers and revelation. the penny dropped yesterday on a stalled area between liam and i - and the revelation truly felt miraculous. the images and ah-ha's we had could only have come from god - answers to about a dozen questions we have had - it was like a curtain lifted and we were given insight into some really destructive behavior we both have that has been foiling intimacy, healing and recovery.

now the work begins - but at least we have a starting point.

it feels like the logjam has been freed for me - like a hinge has turned and opened a door that has long been stuck shut. i have answers to questions and prayers i didn't know i was even asking.

resurrection is happening in places that have long been dormant and dead. spring is arriving and life is being made new. it's terrifying, emotional and wonderful.