red

wilsonian noticed my new 'image' picture i picked out yesterday. i usually do a search on 'red hair' to try to find an image that personifies some part of 'me'. the one i was using was getting old, and they kept moving the url (probably to keep people like me from linking to it...).

yesterday i just did a google image search on 'red' and this was one of the images that came up. i had such a visceral reaction to it that i knew it was the image for 'me' right now. i just feel squeezed, drained and 1/2 empty. please don't fret, i'm not going to injure myself. it just is the emotional equivalent of how this process has left me.

yesterday it poured here - just tons and tons of rain. it was very purifying, it felt like it washed away this long, hot, miserable summer. it feels good to be on the other side of it all. i'm sure you're all so sick and tired of my miserable ramblings, i know i am. i really appreciate your patience. there is a newer blog (to me at least) called 'cheaper than therapy' - that's how this has been for me lately, therapeutic. that's why i haven't claimed this with my real name yet. there is still some junk i need to purge, and it's more likely that i will do so 'anonymously'.

so, for today, i'm a bit 'red', squeeze out and splattered around. but i know that we are on the downside of this mountain, and the sun is in sight. thanks for journeying with me.