as i was on the phone with pink's friend's mom (also my friend) last night we started to re-hash the mess of the church and the process. i got emotional and voiced my frustration that no one was being held accountable for their power-play.
we talked a bit more and i verbalized how important it is for those who have spiritual leadership to be held the most accountable and said 'one of them is still an elder'... she got quiet. too quiet. no, he's not. she said that last month at council meeting the new head elder announced that he has 'stepped down' because of 'sin' - whatever that means.
i didn't press for details, and i knew she had none to give, but this has raised 1000 questions in my head. he was the main brunt force behind all of this - his 'super spiritual' criticism of us and our 'post-modern' ways. was it because of his reaction to the new leadership confronting him in this process, or is there real, clear sin that disqualified him? were we used as a smoke screen to distract everyone away from his behavior? and why hasn't anyone come to talk to us about this? why hasn't anyone said 'er, sorry... we didn't know we had bigger problems (er sin...) than the relational ministry you were doing instead of the indoctrination a few people wanted you to do...'
ARGH! i hate when this stuff creeps back into my life. it's like the tank of our lives is allowed to settle and here comes the big spoon to stir it up again... what a mess. i think if i'm ever going to get a decent night's sleep again we need to finish this exit interview process. it has been playing havoc with my mind each morning at about 4:00 a.m. i've got too much going on to be functioning at these levels right now. too many big decisions at play.