Thursday, July 14, 2005

d-day

well, tonight is the night we meet with the 2 elders to tell our side of the story. i have waited for this for almost 5 years, ah heck, actually almost my whole life.

we've been told to tell them everything - one said 'we'll pick through the sour grapes, just be honest'. he even said that if i had ideas on how to make things work better they wanted to know. i know i should be skeptical, that i should go in there ready to be misunderstood - but i just can't. i do know these two men's hearts, and i know that they, out of all of them know ours (at least that we don't have bad motives or selfish motives. i wish this had all happened last year, i wish that i would have been heard when i said 'the review process is broken' - but nobody did. we knew this was the only way to get their attention. we didn't do it to be petulant - we did it so that no one else would have to suffer through this kind of mismanagement that borders on spiritual abuse.

no one can work under the tyranny of opinion - especially when that is taken only from the ivory tower. i've always said 'you're asking the wrong questions' - maybe tonight they will hear me.

i do know one thing - if there were women on the elder board this would NEVER have happened. connie likened an all male board to a poker game - power and bluff - not every one i'll grant you, but far too many are like that. women bring relationship to the table - women can spot things that men either disregard as unimportant or they don't even see.

one of the men we meet with tonight sat on my couch last sunday, near tears, and said 'we never knew' - i said 'you didn't ask the right questions'. so here we are 32 days from being DONE - and we've got 14 of those totally out of town, one a week of vacation for a family reunion, and one a mission trip - one last hurrah with our kids.

they also told the sp to back off - he's been trying to finagle his way into more information. he's finally not in control of it all and he's beginning to panic. this is the first 'head elder' who's ever really stood up to him and he doesn't really know what he's in for. because of the way they forced the issue w/ liam's letter it looks like they lied - and god is using that to expose a lot of issues. most of all it is uncovering the myth of 'unity' they have been touting for years. people being silenced and shamed for disagreeing are now so fed up that they are coming forward.

it is my prayer that all of this can be brought into the light and that they will truly open up all of the closets, shake the sheets and get to the place where they can move forward on the ground where it is safe to stand.

the most amazing part of this is that we have had to say very little, and then only to those in leadership roles. the congregation is much brighter than those who chose this path ever gave them credit for and it is exposing their hearts.

so please, continue to pray for this process, that the T/truth (even our's if we have things to own) - is brought out into the L/light. we have nothing to hide and love these people deeply and long for them to experience true community, not this articial, plastic kind they have settled for for so long. thank you!

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