Wednesday, November 24, 2004

emerging - visual thesaurus style

stephanie just drew my attention to this.

you can get a few free searches and i, of course, typed in 'emerging'

i wish i could get the graphic to paste here, it's like a chemical structure with branches off in different directions, and circle hubs that place definitions that surround the word.

the adjective definitions given were:
-coming into maturity
-yet to be or coming
-in the process of being born or beginning
-coming into view
-coming into existence

i know most of you think of the emergent church when you hear the word emerging, and maybe that's how i meant it when i titled my blog, but it's become so much more than that for me. it is a metamorphosis of me. i am emerging. i am finding out who i am. i know that may sound self-centered or inward, maybe even immature, but i'm okay with that. i have never truly been a peace with me or even known who i am.

i am learning to own my own name, i haven't gotten there yet, maybe that's one of the reasons anonymous works so well for me? maybe it's about being okay with who i am and learn to stop shaming myself for not being all of the things i've tried so hard to be all my life, never doing any of them well.

i really do feel like i am coming into existence somehow. like i am being born again, in a more complete way. things are being redeemed, realities are being owned. it is painful, but important.

other words that surrounded emerging were:
i like those words.

they are hopeful words.

yahweh by U2 is about being born, redeemed, living in the present, waiting...

Yahweh, Yahweh
Always pain before a child is born
Yahweh, Yahweh
Still I'm waiting for the dawn

What no man can own, no man can take
Take this heart
Take this heart
Take this heart
And make it break

that song resonates so deeply with where i'm at right now, the cry of his (my) heart put to music. hope, emerging hope.

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