Monday, September 20, 2004

letting out that big sigh of relief

today marks the end of a huge month's push for liam and i with his ministry. too many different programs and necessary items converged into a massive amount of work and events, and we are finally today marking the end of that.

because of my co-dependency and liam's workaholism i enable him to take on much more than he should frequently. i'm getting better at not doing that as much, but we both knew this past month was necessary, even though it was intense.

i think much of my missing serenity came from acting out co-dependently last month when i didn't actively realize it until last week. it's amazing how things creep up on you, and start to roll, and it happens at such a small increment that when you're caught in the middle of the landslide you can't even fathom how you got there.

that was last month. and today we celebrate the end of that crazy, insane season with joy.

i had a 'double date' this morning with two of my favorite men. liam and my father. we went out for breakfast and had a nice time talking about things that weren't anything to do with church. what a concept!?!?! even the air in our home is lighter today. it's amazing how that happens.

now we just have some normal weeks until the national youth workers convention in dallas at the beginning of october. a much needed get-away and a nurturing time for our souls. i'm really looking forward to the trip, but know it will be a different event this year.

no yac, no tony and no cpr... three of my most favorite people in the world. i use each year at convention as a benchmark for my soul. it's like the marks on the doorway where i notch pink and buck's height. it's become a spiritual discipline of sorts. so change will be good, but it will definately mark 'different'. different is good too, but i will grieve the passing of the old as we move on to the new.

so, as i relax my shoulders, take a deep breath and roll my neck i can feel the tension lift as i begin to welcome the fall with it's slow progression into the death of winter and the expectation of new life in spring.

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